Were any of you ‘difficult’ as kids?
Now I know that was a very broad question. What I mean to say is, I was a difficult kid.
Not in the way you may be thinking, for obvious reasons. My rebellious phase was an incredibly short-lived couple of months when I was 16. That was when I did all my dabbling and staying out late and such; but even so, it was pretty tame. Mostly due to my physical limitations, and my adverse popularity.
No, what I mean is that I was a difficult child in my elementary and middle school career.
I was very angsty and very well-articulated, so I was consistently at odds with my peers, teachers, and anyone I encountered. Most of my report cards stated something along the lines of, ‘has a bad attitude’, and ‘needs to be more respectful’. My gift for verbally slicing down whoever I opposed was my entire personality.
Truth be told, I had a lot to deal with right from the get go. I lived in a very rural community in Manitoba. Nestled into cow fields and Mennonites churches, I was the only one in my entire school with a disability. The only one with divorced parents, and I was the chubbiest girl out of the three in my grade.
I was angry at the world for the unfair hand that I’d been dealt. My words were my only source of power, and I wielded them very heavily. I got good at defending myself. I got good at knocking down people who would tease me or give me a hard time.
I got so good at it that from a young age I started using my gift to fight battles for the other underdogs I found in my surroundings. My best friends were always the weird kids, with no other friends, who could use someone by their side.
Fast forward to the here and now, and I have turned my love of fighting battles with my words into a new career.
I also now have a little boy. He is almost as tall as me in my wheelchair, and already he gives me glimpses into that part of me that exists in him. Be it nature or nurture, but my son knows how to turn a phrase to get what he wants.
He loves finding loopholes, and analyzes whatever is said to him to find a misstep just like a genie would.
Last night even, we were talking about something menial that happened at school, and when I asked him about it, he threw up air quotations and shot back that it only something he “supposedly did.”
I have never seen that one before, and it was so spot on that I laughed wholeheartedly about it for five minutes.
I know what you may be thinking, “those are not ideal qualities” or “he’ll cause a lot of trouble with that.” I can understand those points, and he and I are working on knowing how and when to use this skill.
However, I don’t see this trait as a bad thing. I’ve taught him that advocating for himself and others is a very useful skill. I’ve been diligently teaching him to know when and how to use his words properly.
When used correctly, words can be one of the most powerful tools we have. Words have seen me through the tough times of my childhood, they helped me feel strong in my teenage days, and they brought me the two careers I have now: a freelance writer and a new paralegal.
So, yes, I was difficult kid. My son can be a difficult kid. You may even feel that you or your kids were also difficult, but I want you to consider that those things that make a child seem difficult may just be one of their greatest strengths.
It may make them who they are, and who they need to be.
Being that argumentative, witty, brat made me who I am today. I will forever be grateful for that gift.
