For as long as I’ve been a mom, I’ve had this dream of taking my son out trick or treating on my own.
My ex-husband was not a fan of Halloween, and I have a physical disability so, this dream sort of stayed on the backburner. I’ve been able to make huge strides physically in the last couple of years, so I’m able to get out and about on my own now. However, the weather in northwestern Ontario has always been famously cold and snowy by Halloween, so wheeling myself with my son around town has been a no go.
I went with my mom usually, and my new boyfriend took us out last year.
But, this year we had the glorious surprise of a mild weathered Halloween!
I got to break out my trusty scooter and go door to door with my Minecraft clad boy. It felt like the biggest win for me. Seven years of secretly praying for no snow, and I finally got it.
New boyfriend did meet up with us after he got out of work, but the victory of not being completely dependent on him remained with me all night.
My dreams are never really very big. I guess because I always feel so held back by my disability. Things that anyone else would never give a second thought to are the things I long for most. Things like being able to walk down the aisle at my own wedding, crossing the stage unassisted at my own graduation, getting my license, and of course the trick or treating. I have not been able to do any of those things, and that is why Monday was such a huge win for me.
I have lived my whole life restricted by my own body. I have lived through so many incredibly low days, and suffered through hating my body on and off for as long as I can remember.
But I have also learned to embrace it as my strength.
I have found ways to build my life around it, learned to sustain myself, and use my experiences to educate and help others.
The truth is, every day I face challenges that many others don’t. I remember days when I would long to just be able to get dressed by myself, to get groceries by myself, to do the dishes by myself; and I have learned ways to accomplish those and so many more. When I look at how far I’ve come, I fee truly blessed.
As a result, my dreams have grown from tiny desires of independence, to larger bounds toward freedom.
This Halloween granted me that gift of taking my own son trick or treating by myself. I will forever be chasing the next ‘huge to me’ goal, and put everything I have into reaching them.
I hope all of you got to enjoy your Halloween as much as I did. Whether it was handing out candy, taking the kids out, watching scary movies, or whatever else it is that you do.
I’ll be forever grateful for this one!
